Tag Archives: overcome

Millennial Entitlement Spans Cultures

Do you ever wonder if other cultures experience the millennial entitlement thinking that we experience here in the US? I just got a glimpse into the Vietnamese culture at my nail salon and it was eye opening. I have to say I was even relieved to find out it’s not just happening here. But the most amazing thing was these amazing hardworking people that I entrust to pick my toes and make my fingers look pretty have adopted American thinking.

Here is a bit of back story for me and nail salons. I think I am like most people in that I am a very loyal shopper, until I am not. Meaning in this case, I have been to MANY nail salons in my area. In the last 6 months I changed to this salon from another that was getting unorganized, rude and shady. This salon is bright, very clean and has very personable staff. It is run by a young couple in their late 20’s. I am in awe of their work ethic. Tonight, I witnessed how they all come together to clean up and refill all the various gels, lotions and implements at the end of the day.

My nail tech lady who happens to be the boss, tells me she is a bit frustrated with a new employee and that while she was working on me her husband was going to run a meeting with everyone. One of the things I was told was this person was dirty and unorganized. When the boss lady pointed out that she was using too much lotion the girl (who is 25 mind you) totally disregarded the constructive criticism, so much so the customer slipped and fell because of the sloppy techniques. The girl also has some seriously messed up personal hygiene issues regarding “that time of the month” and other employees were complaining.

My lady told me that before the 25-year-old came here to work with her husband this girl’s mother would not only bring her breakfast and lunch everyday but also clean up after her in every regard. Now this strikes a chord with me because I see this with some of the millennial brats who just don’t have enough people skills these days. This 25-year-old also came from Southern Vietnam who speaks soft and sweetly where conversely my nail lady is from central Vietnam who comes from a very direct speaking culture. If I liken this to our culture in America in general people in the South speak with a sweet accent and have mild demeanors where in general people in the north not only speak loudly but are very direct as well.

Of course, I do not speak a word of Vietnamese, but I sure can read body language. I was able to figure out who the 25-year-old was by the way she acted, I knew she was new to the shop and I noticed that she acted very immature; bounced around like a 12-year-old. So, I am watching this meeting go down and my lady is chiming in and then suddenly, she gets up and is talking fast while walking over to the meeting area; has her say and comes back. Now everyone is taking their turn at speaking meanwhile the 25-year-old is giggling and fidgeting she bounces over to her station gets her purse and is just unconcerned with the fact that because of her actions and inactions, she could lose customers for the shop. She said that she didn’t like for people to yell at her and that she was afraid of Vietnamese that live in America, wait what?!

Afraid of Vietnamese in America! I am stunned to hear this. Her reasoning is Vietnamese in America are allowed to speak their minds because of all the freedoms here. Now this made me very proud and even more so when my lady says that’s why they work so hard and have so many rules in her shop. She wants everyone to be successful and make money. The shop is there for them to provide the best service and they take pride in passing all their inspections with flying colors and she will not allow anyone to jeopardize that. If this girl wants to continue to work, she needs to follow the rules so that she doesn’t put anyone (client or coworker) in danger.

I have often been astounded at young people that seem to not understand that there are consequences to their actions and that there are rules for a reason.

Day 21 – 30 Day Writing Challenge

What 3 lessons do you want your kids to learn from you?

     Anyone who has kids, we always have seriously high expectations for them. A lot of us want more or better than what we had. Not that this is terrible by any stretch but let me tell you as life experiences happen those expectations change and morph. They change because as you get to know your children and their specific personalities you realize they will have their own path regardless of how you are trying to steer them. And believe me, that is exactly what you are trying to do “Steer” them. As you are aware steering is the best visual I can give you, because kids do not come with an instruction manual. But we all try, to the best of our abilities and life experiences up to that moment to help them become the best people they can be.

What I learned is, we start out with expectations of our kids being a great leader like becoming the President, Politician, Lawyer or Doctor. Someone that others will follow and look up to. Think about when you go house hunting or apartment shopping, you want the best bang for you buck, right? You have all these visions of grandeur, Big Fancy House or apartment. Then you realize well maybe I don’t need some of the amenities I had on my list. You have the same realization with your kids. I personally think, as time has taught me, everyone has their own path to follow and no matter how much you wish otherwise it is THEIR path not yours.

So with this challenge, I asked my kids what 3 lessons they learned from me? One of the things mentioned was I “often” (and still do!) use the phrase “Improvise, Overcome and Adapt”. Let me explain, because of my personal life experiences and a huge lack of self-confidence, I learned much later that everyone has options. I really didn’t understand that I had options in life. I went to a guidance counselor once when I was in high school and said that I wanted to be a nurse; I was told “your grades suck, find something else” and was sent on my way. I was crushed and it took me a long time to get past that, but what I realized was you really have to want something and are willing to do the work to get it done. I come from some of the hardest working people I know. So, this is where I learned I had to follow the road in front of me to see where it led.

So in life you need to learn how to “Improvise” and be fluid or go with the flow because you never know where the road is going to lead you. Just because you are heading toward a place or goal doesn’t mean that in 10 years that is where you will end up.

You need to “Overcome” adversity or disappointment because it is those experiences that can shape the outcome of where you are supposed to go. Kind of like bumper cars at the carnival, you see where you want to go but you get blindsided and it shoves you off your path. But that doesn’t mean you won’t reach that goal, its just that you are meant to take a little detour. I certainly think “things happen for a reason” that usually becomes clearer much later.

Finally, “Adapt” to your surroundings and situations because you just never know who or what you are meant to meet or experience. To experience life in a fluid manner or to be open will enrich your life beyond expectations. When you get older or as you get older you will look back and seriously realize just how full you life has been. It is my dream that you will be able to share your wisdom about your experiences as I have tried to do. Life is not easy and they leave scars that hurt but know that you can not be the person you have become without those scars and experiences. Everyone has their own fire to walk through.

I have lived my whole life for my kids, made lots of mistakes (thank you hindsight) but I could not be prouder of who my kids are. Not only are they awesome people but they have become upstanding citizens in our world. Truthfully, that is really all you can hope for. To have children that are successful and great citizens who aren’t a drain on society and who you know can help lead this world on to a better place is beyond my wildest dreams for them.